Friday, April 19, 2013

Left Right Yin Yang

 Don't walk in front of me, 
I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, 
I may not lead.
Walk beside me, 
And just be my friend.
~ An Irish Blessing
Yin Yang, SMO & Boomer walk -- Side by Side

I was laying on a massage table in the middle of our living room this week when I, along with Soloane, the highly skilled massage therapist working her magic, began to notice a trend in my body being uber tight  - - down the entire right side of my body - - from neck to ankle.  Following the 2-hour restorative session to balance out my body from all the yard work I'd been catching up on and the 62-mile bike ride event I had completed the day before on the 5th month marking Boomer's passing, Soloane asked me a very pointed question, "Shannon, what side did you sleep next to your husband?"   I paused, thought a second, when BAM! it hit me, "Oh my Soloane, you're kidding me? I sleep left, Boomer's on the right."  Commence tears.

The body manifests subliminal emotional trauma in a myriad of ways.  Loss of sleep, appetite, weight, concentration and focus are common.  For some, exacerbating health issues can also arise.   For me, my tight muscles down the right side of my body symbolized more than just my emotional trauma over losing Boomer or missing him. 
SMO left, Boomer right - Always.

Whenever Boomer was preparing dinner and I assisted staging plates for him to load up I'd ask him who's was who's.   "SMO's always on the left," he'd say.  It became the joke as time and again, I continued to ask who's was who's.  He'd laugh, give me a little side eye smirk and simply say, "SMO's always on the left."

Boomer would often tell me that we were more alike than we were different.  He was 100% right.  Our differences were few.  A few times through the years, he'd bring up that line from the movie Jerry McGuire, "You complete me," and get me going on my soapbox of the cornball dialog.  What was clear between us was how we complimented each other.   One spoke what the other was thinking.  One started a sentence and the other finished.  Personal flaws and assets alike, we balanced each other out.  Left,right, yin,yang.  It was a delightful, comforting constant throughout our relationship that I treasure and have been reminded of even more in recent days.   

When we ate dinner at the kitchen bar in our Evanston Loft, I was left, Boomer right.  Our chairs on the veranda here in Florida, SMO left, Boomer right. Even the pictures here illustrate where our rhythm as a partnered couple best fit. 

So it's no wonder my right side is so tight.  Boomer has infused his soul in my right side, right where he's most comfortable and prefers to be.  It further dawned on me that when I hear him speak to me, be it at his natural soft-spoken tone, or mostly a gentle whisper, it comes from the right.  Into my right ear, not straight on, nor at the left.  Always right. 

I was walking into the shower the other day when Boomer's ring suddenly went heavy on my neck again (read Mood Ring).  I caught myself grabbing it with my right hand and began to answer him, "Yes, honey, I know, I'm taking a shower and my rings will be back on shortly,."  Then I laughed as I continued, "Or are you just letting me know that you see me naked right now?"  This time, I think it was the later.

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