Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Swing With Me Baby - You're Platnium

So here's the deal...
This is rough week for me.  I'm bouncing...alot.  Everyday, in and out of tearful moments, some longer that others.  I equate this grief-driven, emotional bouncing around to that of an old school pinball machine and I am the ball.   There are milestones this week, several, every few days.  It started last Sunday, with Boomer's birthday (read Free Bird).  Thursday will be 4 months he's gone (read My Man).  Then, this Sunday, St. Patrick's Day.  It's not about the "holiday" (read Oy!), it's the anniversary of the day he proposed to me and we got engaged. 

Boomer's been talking to me a lot the last two weeks.   Almost exclusively in song; because he knows what a music hound I am.  I have music playing all the time.  Maybe it's my delusional desire for my life to play like a movie or TV show, with an ongoing soundtrack playing in the background, each track specifically relevant to whatever is occurring at the moment.  I shared that little secret with Boomer once, he looked at me, rolled eyes and loving said, "What have I gotten myself into?"  Thing is, Boomer himself has had an impactful, transformational role with me and music.  My 4th appendage is my iPod, which was a Christmas gift from him.   Our Sirius/Xm subscription started with him, another Christmas gift.

Boomer's a bit of a music hound himself, as a source of self-expression.  There's a CD permanently queued in my car, with just March 17, 2009 written on it in green sharpie.  It includes just three tracks:
  1. I'll Be Around  - The Spinners
  2. The Game of Love - Michelle Branch w/Santana
  3. Smooth - Santana feat. Rob Thomas
He played it on the way to the restaurant on 3/17/09, our engagement dinner.  He played it again on the way home.  And again at home, as we celebrated with our friends Barbara and Tom.

Sunday mornings became "classic Jazz" mornings when I moved into the Loft, a tradition that followed us to Florida.  Boomer would read the paper, cover to cover, I'd be putzing around (yep, more yiddish), all morning while classic jazz played in the background throughout the house. He really dug it.

Friday nights it was retro R&B, chillin' at home, enjoying a pizza, either alone or with Dara, who lived nearby.   Saturdays for dinner it varied - - whatever struck us.    One Saturday evening, Boomer introduced me to Joe - - Joe Williams.  Whenever there was a particular song that conveyed the message he wanted to reinforce, he'd say, "Now I want you to listen to this SMO."  Then he'd lip-snyc along on significant versus.  It ranks high on my list of endearing memories.  

On the evening I met Joe, Boomer and I had been talking about how much we had each gained in our lives by being together.  We agreed that what we had was extraordinary, something neither of us had experienced before, and that our previous experiences were the preparations in bringing us together.   Boomer took a time-out and popped Joe into the CD player, "Now I want you to listen to this SMO, I mean what Joe is singing."  Joe sang, Boomer lip-synced, I swooned while snapping my fingers to the tempo and followed up the song by quoting Phil Hartman's infamous Sinatra impression on SNL, "Swing with me baby, you're platinum."  "I'm serious SMO," he said.  "I know honey, I am too, I just wanted to lighten it up a little."

Together Boomer and I were platinum.   So it's no wonder to me, that Joe (and Boomer) shuffled into my ears this morning on my bike ride.  Boomer needed me to listen and remember - - everything. 

Boomer & SMO
So this is a rough week for me.  I said it.  I own it.  It is what it is.  I'll keep working through it, moment by moment, one day at a time.  Forever in absolute awe that I've been so blessed to have had Boomer in my life.  Heck, he obviously still is...as my own private DJ.

Go figure, just as I wrap-up this writing, GFR shuffled in and started to play..."Now I want you to listen to this SMO,"

Boomer, you're killin' me.  Thank you.  I love you.
Probably a good thing I have my bereavement group counseling tonight.

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