I have a daughter, now 31. Yes, I had her when I was 17, raising her as a solo parent. She was already 15, with one foot out of the nest, when Boomer and I began dating. I committed to parenthood 100% and wanted the next phase of my adult life to proceed in a new, unfamiliar way - - without kids.
Boomer has two boys. Having had his oldest son, who's now 24, when he was 32, the idea of becoming a new father again at any age past 41 (his age when we started dating (read the "1978" post ), didn't interest him either.
|Boomer & SMO, 2001|
Another easy fit.
Occasionally Boomer liked to fantasize about what our kids might look like, if we had had them. Would they be tall like him, with my stubbing fingers and toes? Right handed or left handed (I'm an ambidextrous lefty)? His wavy locks or my broom straight hair? Boy or a girl? Since he already has sons, he liked the idea of a girl. Blue eyes were pretty likely, we both have them.
Parallels of our former lives, long before we knew each other, began to emerge as we shared our respective life stories. During the early - mid 1980's we discovered we had been working, living, and socializing in the same neighborhoods. I lived in Downers Grove, IL, and worked in nearby Westmont and Oak Brook. Boomer worked in Downers Grove, lived in either Carol Stream or Glen Ellyn, I forget which exactly. We laughed at the discovery of all the same places we knew of and patroned - some often. Did our paths actually intersect sometimes? The details we were both so familiar with made the possibility highly credible. Though I always told him, even if they had, he wouldn't have noticed me. "Don't be so sure," he'd say, followed by, "If we'd had met back then, we would have a dozen babies by now." The most impractical and improbable thing I'd ever heard Boomer say, and it always made me laugh. It's the richness of his sentiment that I love about it.
He last brought it up just a couple of weeks before he died. Over the years, I continued to laugh and modified my response, "Honey, thank you, but come on, a dozen? It's the idea of making a dozen babies and the activity involved that appeals to you." He laughed and nodded in total agreement, followed by, "So what do you say? Wanna?"